Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
