Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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