I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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