Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
