Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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