she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
