One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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