I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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