Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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