One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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