if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
