i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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