did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
