k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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