can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
