Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
