Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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