my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize