I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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