There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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