after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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