none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize