It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
