so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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