Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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