totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Randomize
