I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish i was in the wii world.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize