I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize