I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
vagina is talking i cant
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
