My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize