Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The air was thick with penises
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
