All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
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I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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