Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
