I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
