I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize