I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
