What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
