Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
