i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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