even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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