Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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