we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
