The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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