I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
