thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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