You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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