The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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