If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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