I hate your face
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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