my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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