If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize