Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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