i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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