He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
