did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
