girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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