In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
