Nicole vs. Life
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
