my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
