the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
