after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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