john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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