I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
