so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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