You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
