He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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