I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
