We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
