i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
