Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
