Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
